Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Nutter Butters Are Not My Favorite Travel Destination

Hello LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers!

I have been on a writing break for the past 2 months - which will probably last a few more months on top of that - but I had to write a quick post about something that has been annoying me lately.  SPAMMERS.  

It's like I left my house on the frontier and arseholes came to squat!  Well I am putting on my prairie bonnet, loading up my musket and reclaiming my land!  Spammers for a company I refuse to name, have been loading up the comments section on my blog.  They have been pretending to comment on my post in very broken English but really the main goal is to put in links for a tour company.  Or at least I think the link is for a tour company - I refuse to click on the link - it could be some sort of cyber scam for all I know.

I realize this happens on comment boards all over the globe, but my tiny little blog has been relatively free of such nonsense until now!  (Despite the number of Eastern European "readers" that try to link to my site.)  

To wake up every morning and to find notifications that these jackholes have attached more of their ads to my blog posts is INCREDIBLY ANNOYING.  

If you want to advertise at LilyOnTheLam - PAY ME!  

I have been reporting and blocking in the vain hope that these vermin will move on.  

I am so annoyed by it all that 99% of me cannot enjoy the humor of their ridiculous broken English, but every now and again one bad comment post has me chuckle even for just a second.  So today, the spammer wrote a comment on my Nutter Butter Cookie Cheesecake Truffle Ball recipe post.  Something to the effect of: "Nutter Butters are my favorite travel destination too - check out the tour at"  

Listen, I am all for the transcendent properties of sugar.  And I must admit that I allowed myself to get whisked away with some Reese's chocolate peanut butter bunnies this past Easter.  BUT NUTTER BUTTERS ARE NOT MY FAVORITE TRAVEL DESTINATION!  

So to any potential scammers, please view this picture of my cat Finnerty - who himself can be quite the arsehole at times -- and know that if you continue to load my blog with your fake comments, this is the animal who will creep into your home and vomit on your head. 

I assume tomorrow I will receive a notification that a spammer has written a comment: "Cats named Finnerty are my favorite travel destination too!"

Happy April, Readers!  Look for more tales on my travels or Nutter Butter cookie consumption, in a few months.  Take care!

Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Where To Stay in Krakow, Poland!

Hello LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers!

Happy February!  January flew by!  I have been traveling a lot for work which means less time for LilyOnTheLam posts.  I am thinking of taking a blog writing break until the summer, so if you don't see any recent updates you will know why!

As I have been working several times in Europe lately, I have made it my mission to knock off a few European countries off my bucket list.  I have been to most of the Western European countries - so in the last several months I was able to cross off Hungary, Austria, Slovakia and now POLAND off my list of countries to see.

I have always wanted to check out Poland - as I am half-Polish, but I was scared because I didn't speak the language.   However after spending time in Hungary and Slovakia (not to mention Russia), I have found that I do just fine in countries where I cannot speak (or even read - as it is the case in Russia) the language.  And a GIGANTIC reminder to myself not to let fear stand in the way of anything you want to do.  I am so glad I finally was able to go to Poland and I hope to see Warsaw soon.

I had a long weekend, so I hopped over to Krakow, Poland to check out the scene.  I chose Krakow because it has a vibrant old city center and is a very walkable city.  

I stayed at the Sheraton Krakow Hotel which I HIGHLY recommend.  It is next to Wawel Castle (pronounced Vah-vull) and the swan-laden Vistula (Polish: Wisla) River.  

Side shot of Wawel Castle and the Vistula River in the morning

Chess pieces in front of the Vistula River with Wawel Castle in the background

Seriously, am I being mooned by swans?

It is in walking distance of the main market square, the fire-breathing dragon statue, the aforementioned Castle, as well as many good shops, restaurants and seventeen million 24 hour alcohol stores.  Which are labeled "Alkohole" which makes me think of the words "alcohol" and "asshole" mashed together!   

Don't be a mobster or an alkohole!

This statue is supposed to breathe fire every 10-15 minutes, but it was COLD
when I was there so I just bought a postcard of it breathing fire instead!

The Sheraton's location is fantastic - and when I arrived in my club level room, I found two delightful surprises.... the best darn looking fruit plate....

and a toy that I thought was a Krakow-dile but turns out it is a dragon!

This toy from the Sheraton may have stowed away in my luggage back to America
People in Krakow love their dragons.  There are bones hanging next to Wawel Castle that are supposed to be dragon bones to ward off bad luck to the city - however supposedly one of the bones is from a whale.  Regardless of where the bones came from, the city was not destroyed in World War II so maybe the bones are good luck after all!

The Sheraton has an amazing breakfast buffet ... that fit my pro-starch, pro-carb political stance.  The breakfast buffet had TWO KINDS OF POTATO SALAD.  It might as well have been called "Welcome Home, Carb Lovin' Lily Buffet."  And who could say no to an abundant supply of champagne flutes filled with fruit, yogurt, bran flakes and pumpkin seeds?  Not this gal!  

I was humbled to visit Auschwitz at the 70th anniversary of when the Nazis started to evacuate the concentration camp (a week later was the 70th anniversary of the camp's liberation - a much more positive date).  I had visited the memorials at Dachau concentration camp when I was 19 years old.  

I went on a walking tour of the city and for those who love the movie Schindler's List, there are many places in Krakow that are in the movie.  

I had a lot of fun adventures in Krakow and hopefully one day I'll get caught up on my blog posts!  But in all seriousness, I am in the middle of packing for my next trip!  

If you are ever looking for a beautiful place to visit with warm people and good pierogi - check out Krakow, Poland and the Sheraton Krakow!

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

The World Is Your Oyster

Hello LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers:

Well I am planning my next big international adventure, so check back in a few weeks to see where I end up next. 

The other day I posted a very short blurb referencing an old post I wrote about "Thoughts having power."  I didn't have time to write more on this theme (hence the reference back to an older blog post.)  What I should have written about was that both positive and negative things running through my head have suddenly materialized into reality after I had the thought.  Not to sound too witchy or crazy, but at times in my life I have thought about someone or something and they just appear within 24 hours of the thought being thrown out in the universe.  I guess it's like The Secret or Law of Attraction ... I guess, I've never read anything on either.

Now I will say that this phenomenon usually is really a Murphy's Law jinx.  I will think of someone who is horrible and then BAM! the next day I will run into them.  I'd prefer if my thoughts could make winning lottery numbers and not arseholes appear in my life.  

BUT with the bad always comes some good and as I said above, recently both positive thoughts as well as negative thoughts have been manifesting themselves.

Since I didn't have time/energy to write about this fully in my previous blog post, the universe threw me another curve ball as a reminder that I should have written the post in the first place.

(Side note:  I live near a playground with the world's noisiest children.  As I type this I can hear what I assume is a small girl but maybe a bratty adult with a super high voice, screeching "ENTERTAIN US!  ENTERTAIN US!"  I don't think she's quoting a Nirvana song.  I live in a world where there are too many Veruca Salts and not enough Mother Teresas.  Although if I am to be brutally honest, I myself am the patron saint of the Veruca Salt camp.)

About a week or two ago, I was in a gift shop (a.k.a. "stuff I don't need but really want" shop).  One of the items in the shop was the cute book "I Could Pee On This ... and Other Poems By Cats."

If you are a frequent reader, you will know that I am 900 years old and have 47,324 cats.  And no, I don't see this as a problem.  I also have an obsession with all things Hello Kitty and plan to create a church around the blessed teachings of  You might as well start calling me "Your Holiness" right now.  (Side Note: I was on the phone with British Airlines today and the very nice gentleman representative kept calling me "Mum" which I think he was just saying "Ma'am" versus calling me his Mommy.  However either way I was tickled and had to stifle a laugh.)

Being a 900 year old crazy cat lady, I will not admit how many times I have looked at "I Could Pee On This" in stores and almost bought it.  It's practically a medical necessity for someone like me.  But up until now, I have avoided using my precious cat food money to buy this adorable book of kitty wonderfulness.

So yesterday I find a small box from in my mailbox.  I open the box and there is "I Could Pee On This."  My heart dropped to my stomach.  What the heck?  Did I get drunk and go crazy with the "one click" button (the devil) on  I would like to say I have never drunken shopped online before but I would be a big fat liar if I did.  But I generally have some memory of the shopping experience.  Standing with the book in my hand, I had absolutely no memory of ordering it.  Oh great, now I am not only a compulsive shopper but a blackout drunk too!  So many new "healthy" items to add to my resume!    

Then I saw in the box was a gift message from my father.  The book was a gift!  I let out a giant cheer (scaring several neighbors) that I was not a blackout drunk shopaholic (... well at least not yet)!  And then I had to chuckle that a week or so ago I was standing in front of this very book wishing to buy it myself and then voila it magically shows up in my mailbox.  It was like my blog post "A Miracle At Starbucks" - the universe provides!  Or in this case, my father and his generosity provides!

Of course, my gut reaction when these types of wishes come true is always "I should have wished for something BIGGER!"  I'm not only a crazy cat lady but a demanding one at that!  

I have been extremely blessed in my life and I try not to take anything for granted.  We are having a lot of changes at my work and it would be easy to be a Chicken Little running around declaring the end of the world, but why?  Life is good.  Sometimes it sucks, but overall it's pretty darn awesome.  

I am so excited for my next upcoming trip.  I'll be spending a very short time in a place I have always wanted to visit (tacking the trip on to the end of a work trip).  Whenever I accomplish a goal or satisfy a bucket list item, I get a Cheshire Cat high.  Or perhaps a Mad Hatter high!

Seize the day, readers!  The world is your oyster and if you're lucky enough, someone awesome may just give you a book of cat poetry.  And THAT is something truly special!    

Monday, January 5, 2015

Thoughts Have Power, Part Two

Happy New Year, LilyOnTheLam.Com Readers!

At the beginning of this New Year 2015, I am reminded once again that thoughts have power - and if we think poorly we manifest poor events and if we think strong, healthy and mighty - good things come our way!  

Here is an oldie but a goodie from the LilyOnTheLam vault on Thoughts Having Power.  Enjoy!